This is episode nine of Rio Guy.
One day, Tiago was at school. The teacher was teaching them about boring crap like geometry and then a new
classmate walked in. She was a beautiful girl capybara named Claira. She sat down next to Tiago and his buddies
"Scha-wing!" Tiago said.
At recess, Tiago went up to her and said,
"You must be a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you. Giggity, giggity, giggity, goo!"
"What the heck was that?" Claira asked Tiago.
"I'm trying to sound like my buddy Glenn Quagmire. By the way, I think I'm in love with you," Tiago said to
"What, your a bird in love with a capybara, that's cray-cray!" she said.
"What, I just think your really cute and sweet. Also, my best friend is a frog who is in love with a bird,"
"Wow, that sounds crazy. You wanna go ride the mary go round," Claira asked Tiago.
"HE double hockey sticks YEAH!" Tiago shouted.
They had a great time going around in circles on a mary go round, singing Kid Rock songs. They were at school,
so they had to censor a lot of the words.
That night at the Griffin house, Tiago was drawing a picture of him and Claira kissing. He even pulled out of a
stuffed animal of a capybara and did some "practice kissing" with it.
Later, Tiago talked to Gabi. Gabi was knitting a sweater for a friend.
"What up my knittah?" Tiago asked Gabi.
"Ha-ha, you watched last night's Bob's Burgers, too, didn't you?" Gabi said.
"Yes. Anyway, you've had birdlovidis your whole life right?" Tiago asked Gabi.
"Yes I have. When I was little I had a crush on Big Bird,".
"That's interesting, well, I have a crush on a capybara girl at school who I think likes me back. Her name is
Claira and she is the sweetest thing you'll ever meet," Tiago said with a HUGE smile on his face.
"Awh, that's adorable. Can I meet her soon?" Gabi said.
"Sure, right after the next commercial break. Sorry, I'm not used to being on FOX at prime time," Tiago said.
The next day, Tiago brought Claira home for his family to meet, Tiago walked in right when they were in the
middle of the theme song.
"It seems to day that all you see is violence in movies and sex on TV," Lois was singing.
"But where are those good old fashioned values?" Peter sang.
"Of which we used to rely!" everybody shouted.
"Sorry to interrupt the theme song, but this is my girlfriend, Claira," Tiago said.
"Wow, she's cute. It's reminds me of the time I dated Kristin Schaal," Peter said.
"Did you really date Kristen Schaal?" Tiago asked.
"No, I just wanted to set up a cutaway," Peter said.
"Well, it's like the time I became the king of Minecraft," Tiago said and nothing happened.
"What the heck, I thought a cutaway would pop up," a confused Tiago said.
"Well, you know what, us birds don't have cutaways as often," Blu told Tiago.
That night, Tiago and Claira went on a date to Roxano's. Quahog is actually VERY similar to Vevay because it
has a Roxano's, a Shell's, and an IGA. Which in Quahog stands for "I Get Ass!".
At Roxano's they talked about everything from Spongebob to American Dad. Tiago and Claira split a pizza and
root beer float. They ate until their stomachs bulged. The next day at school, Claira told Tiago
"I had so much fun. You know what, maybe we should do that again some day,".
"Well, you know what, I do have this new Goat Simulator game. Ever wanted to be a goat?" Claira asked Tiago.
"Well, scientists HAVE developed machines to turn people into goats," Claira said.
"What? I can really be a goat. That's awesome! We could be goat buddies," Tiago said.
"I gotta get to class. Bye!" Tiago said.